Dinghy

Hi,

I can't believe I survived the cold, wet conditions of the bay today. Finally, something I've always wanted to try, sailing, was within my grasp. There were four of us, along with one instructor, who showed us how to set up a sail, make all the appropriate ties and knots along the "mast" and show us how to turn and steer the boat. We also had a capsize test, where we jumped into the salty waters of the bay and flip the boat right side up. I did that five times today. Five. What they say is true, even without the sun being visible, sunburn can occur, and I definitely got darker after today's activities. More tomorrow.

Good night,
Sh.

Bad things happen to good people

Hi Fiona,

I know you did well on your first biochem test today. Somehow, I remembered that today was your first big test. I know I'm not in your life anymore, but I still want you to do well.

On a sad note, I spoke with Rony today, told him about everything that happened between us. He was pretty mature and comforting about it. For such a long time, I had always been the mature and responsible one. Can you imagine that? He then went on to tell me that Mae was diagnosed with breast cancer. It shocked me. She's only 26 or 27. He told me it was really tough on her when she first found out, but time has improved her spirits. We, men, could never empathize the feelings and emotions involved with breast cancer, but at least Rony is there for her as support. She'll be going through chemo, surgery, then radiation.

Enough bad news, I'm going sailing tomorrow. Pretty excited about it.

Night,
Sh.

The Hardest Part

Hi,

I was listening to the songlist that was on my iTunes and came across a song that's so appropriate for me right now.

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part

Good night,
Sh.

Trader Joe's

Hi Fiona,

Can't believe there are so many places that remind me of you. I went to Trader Joe's today and parked right against the fence. It reminded me of the time we tried to walk from Costco to Trader Joe's and we had to turn around once we ran into that dead end.

The checkout guy was really nice and said that I had the exact same groceries he did. I replied that it's easy for a single guy who doesn't cook. I'm starting to bring food to work to save some money.

On the work front, we're pretty much set for our venture and I'm excited. I'm going to work so hard to make this work. If I fail, it won't be because I didn't work my ass off to make it succeed.

Good night,
Sh.

Back to work

Hey Fiona,

I wonder how long it will take for you to call me, or whether you even will call me again. I've thought that a few times over the weekend, but that thinking stops now. I have set all of my goals for the next few months and I'm looking forward to carrying them out. My mind is in a really good place right now, relative to where it was when I was in Nashville. It doesn't mean I don't miss you. On the contrary, I miss you so much, yet I know this is the right thing for both of us.

Work was tough today, so tired of working for someone who doesn't have morals or isn't even a good person. When I took this job, it was for more money and better opportunity. It has served it's purpose - I did meet Brent and we are going to really go for it now. I honestly think we're going to succeed at our little operation. Wish me luck.

Good night,
Sh.

Glad to be home

Hi Fiona,

I'm finally glad to be home, only because I've been dying to start writing my book. It's going to be a fictional novel, based loosely (well some parts will be exact) on our incredible summer. It's my form of therapy. I know that sometimes, you seeing me do things, it may seem as though I'm lazy, but what I really want in life, is not recognition in my work, but I want a balanced life where my work and family and relationships are all going well. And if work sacrifices my family and relationships, then my work is not as important to me. It sounds very hippy-like, but that's who I am.

I know you are doing so well with your studying. It's not as though you've told me and we haven't spoken to each other in over a week, but perhaps it's the best way for both of us to move on.

Good night,
Sh.

Memories revisted

Hi Fiona,

Calling you several times and not being able to reach you has been a huge adjustment for me. Being put in the category as someone who is not as special as they once were is somewhat rejecting, but I understand now. And I'm finally at the point of acceptance. It may have taken me longer to do so, but I'm happy now.

Going to Vegas and then San Diego is difficult. I'm in my sister's den, where we slept on the underinflated air mattress and where we had incredible sex after watching Russell Peters. When I first saw the air mattress, there was a bit of melancholy and sadness I felt. Who knew all these things would make me feel this way?

I'm happy now because I had, what I considered to be, the most incredible, amazing, whirlwind of a summer, ever. We had so much romance and I couldn't help but stare at you with amazement, all the time. I hope you enjoyed it when you were looking away, that my eyes were still on you. I am only left with those memories in my mind, and everytime I think about it, a slight smile appears.

Sh.